The Independent Variable

mcsweeneys.net

Whether you’re a frightened child wondering if your parents are teetering on the precipice of divorce, a hard-of-hearing person worried about missing the nuances of under-the-breath barbs, or simply fed up with listening to your coworkers bicker, our app will do the work of listening to and analyzing any argument for you. We plan to add more categories of arguments, culturally specific approaches to conflict resolution, and, eventually, a Polymarket feature that lets users live-stream a fight in progress while others gamble on the outcome in real time.

As I've gotten older and gotten into birds a